How to Manage Your Teens Cell Phone Use
Monday, March 30, 2009 Posted by Felicia
Can you believe that in April of last year one teen managed to rack up over 6,000 text messages in one month? Working as a high school counselor I see the struggle between parents and kids with their cell phones far too often. They are constantly having them taken away during school because teachers catch them trying to text under the desk or they are talking on them in the hallway. It has become such an issue that TwitterMoms are talking about it.I'm not trying to pretend that cell phones are going away, and I am not proposing that they should go away, but there are some tips that parents can use to hopefully help make the cell phone experience more pleasant for all!
5 Tips for Managing Cell Phone Usage and Your Teens:
*Find a phone plan that allows you to pre-pay or pay as you go (something like Kajeet)
*Talk together as a family about when it is or isn't appropriate to use the cell phone (no cell phone after 9pm, no cell phone until your homework is completed, etc.)
*Make your child responsible for helping out with the bill. This doesn't necessarily mean that they have to pay the entire bill, but make them responsible in some way (paying for the texting, pay for half, Do things around the house in exchange for the phone bill, etc).
*TAKE IT AWAY if they are failing in school or not following through with rules you set! Let them have it back when they show progress!
*Have them go over the bill with you when it comes in. Teens need to see things in order to know that they are "real". Make them a part of the cell phone bill process! This is a valuable learning tool for the future anyway!
If you are looking for a cell phone plan that has your Teens and your wallets best interest in mind, check out the Kajeet. Kajeet offers pay as you go and they even have settings that can be helpful such as: WalletManager that sets aside money to teach responsibility, Set text message limits with TimeManager, Block calls and texts you don't want with ContactManager (this is an excellent feature as I see a TON of teens who need this daily), Set up automatic check-ins or find your kids phone with GPS Locator, enjoy flexible inexpensive rates (plans start at $4.99).
This product was provided free of charge by Kajeet. These are my honest opinions on the product. I do not post reviews on products I can not stand behind. Please see my Terms of Use for more info.
March 30, 2009 9:47 AM
I think when the parents have more control over the text messaging is best. I looked over the plan, and think this is a good one. I'm a teacher at college level for art; it's even a problem when they get older. As teachers, we too need to set boundaries too. I tell my students, "No cell phones while I'll talking in lecture". When it's lab time I don't care as much. Of course there are times when they are waiting on a doctor's call, or something important. I tell them to talk to me ahead of time; I'll be ok with things like that.
March 30, 2009 9:55 AM
What great tips. I think that the cell phones where you have to pay for the minutes a head of time are the best ones for teens. You should also make sure that your teen is responsible enough to handle a cell phone. Thanks for sharing this!
March 30, 2009 11:16 AM
I don't yet have a teen (thank goodness!) but my kids would all like to have their own cell phone. Of course they don't have one because really, how many people would you call at the ages of 7, 8, & 9? They enjoy looking when we go to the store or when I look online for a future upgrade.
I have no intentions of getting them a phone any time soon, and when I do they will have help pay for it in some way (whether with money or extra chores around the house). I think we did pretty well growing up without cell phones, they'll do alright :)
~Rebekah
March 30, 2009 12:24 PM
My 13 yr old is awesome with her cell. We have never had a problem as of yet and I have never had to take it from her for abuse(again, YET). We have unlimited texts to anyone so I guess ti will be hard for her to mess that up. LOL. Thaks for this good info/advise.
March 30, 2009 1:01 PM
We wanted to get my 11 year old son a cell phone since we were dropping him off at various lessons and afterschool activities and wanted him to be able to call us anytime he needed. He's been really good with it except once he went way over on text messages...I thought he was on unlimited but he wasn't...we fixed that right away and now he doesn't text as much!
March 30, 2009 1:45 PM
Great tips! I am afraid to look into the future and see how much cell phones will be able to do when my boys are in high school. I definitely plan on being super strict with them about using them.
March 30, 2009 2:18 PM
I think your tips are great. My thirteen year old granddaughter has a cell phone that her parents purchased for her, and I know she also uses it for text messaging, but so far, no problems at all. I think teaching your child about responsibility and the cost of calls and text messaging in advance is key. Great post and so relevant these days :)
maggie@mannwieler.com
March 30, 2009 2:52 PM
sabreena has never had a problem with her phone. She's a good kid all around actually but she's fully aware of what would happen if her grades slip or her attitude gets out of line.
March 30, 2009 3:39 PM
Great tips. Wish I knew this when you were a teen!
March 30, 2009 3:55 PM
I see younger and younger kids with phones all the time! There was a girl at the playground last week texting, who couldn't have been any older than 10. I don't have teens or even tweens, yet, so I will have to store your info away for future reference.
March 30, 2009 4:55 PM
I work with teenage girls as part of a youth group for my church. Some of them are so attached to their phones it's like an addiction. I get so frustrated when they text at the same time they're talking to ime. I think one of the biggest problems you've addressed in your blog is that of cell phone etiquette. Sometimes it seems as though teens actually don't know that there are times it's inappropriate to be texting. Thanks for this article!
March 30, 2009 7:41 PM
I dread the day that my kids start asking for their own cell phone! Although I know it can be necessary to have one, especially for kids involved in extra curricular activities, I think it's gotten WAY out of hand! I like the idea of the Kajeet phone, especially for those parents who have a hard time setting boundaries for their kids.
March 30, 2009 10:14 PM
We have a teen who even tries to text at the dinner table. We ask her to please not and the drama starts. I think life was easier before texting.
March 30, 2009 11:23 PM
I don't have a teen, but I do have an 8 year old begging for a phone. I am so glad that now you can get phones and plans from places like tmobile that are no contract and you pay ahead of time. When she does get a phone it will be a plan like that and ahe will have to earn the money to pay for her minutes or find a job to buy them herself. It is hard enough paying my phone bill...I don't need another one added to it!
March 31, 2009 12:55 AM
These are wonderful tips! The Kajeet phone sounds awesome-I love the features especially the Contact Manager and GPS (perfect for a paranoid first time mom-lol)!
March 31, 2009 1:39 AM
Come by my blog and see the news story that my family participated in. It's called Generation Text. We were interviewed about our teenagers use of technology. It was fun.
March 31, 2009 1:50 AM
My 15 year old has a cell phone and does great,I would like to get my 10 year old one,The Kajeet phone sounds just right for her!
Thank you for sharing.
March 31, 2009 2:59 AM
I'm really glad this subject is a far off one for me but, I agree with all points. It's a privilege and not a right for a teen to have a cell phone. They need to know that the parent is the one that calls the shots. If they are failing in school, getting in trouble, etc., the phone needs to go
March 31, 2009 12:54 PM
My 20 year old has had a cell phone for 5 years now and we laid down the rules to start with. She had 500 texts per month to Verizon and 50 to other. She went over a few times but she had to do extra chores to pay for them. She now has unlimited to anybody. Yeah. If they cannot follow the rules then I believe it should be taken away. We had to take hers twice and she learned her lesson.
April 1, 2009 1:16 AM
I am dreading the day to come when my daughter is old enough to want a cell phone. It is amazing how many teens have phones and many have not care when it comes to minutes or texts used. Then there is my nephew whose voice mail is the following "Hey, Leave me a message and I will call you back after 9 or on the weekend". When I heard this the first time I was laughing, he was afraid to go over his minutes and his parents take his phone away
April 1, 2009 2:16 AM
I firmly believe that all children should have phones with GPS locater. It may help locate the child if he/she were to be abducted and it may help to locate a child who has been in a car accident and unable to place a phone call.
JD
visionquest2020@msn.com
April 1, 2009 8:24 AM
These are all great tips! We will be crossing this bridge sometime in the next few years. Our 10 year old is already asking and she is so not ready for a cell phone yet, but of course she doesn't understand that.
April 1, 2009 11:33 AM
I think it's a matter of simple behavior and etiquette basics. Parents need to teach kids that texting in company is not permitted.
April 1, 2009 4:04 PM
I agree with your review and suggestions. Having 2 teens myself however, I think the .10 per text on any phone isn't acceptable to me. I've noticed a cultural shift from the use of a cell phone for voice communication (by teens) to almost exclusively a texting device. My 16 yo daughter had a phone in Middle School and the plan was easy to manage as it was used for voice. Now, both kids rarely communicate with voice so any phone we purchase must have a data plan with that in mind. It's not "managing" anymore - it's the only way the use it. In fact, I'd love to find a plan that had "pay as you go" voice!!
April 1, 2009 5:47 PM
I appreciate this post as a teacher. My son is only 15 months old but my students are 7th graders, and I plan to offer these tips to some of their parents. Parent conferences often involve conversations about parenting and the parents of middle schoolers are always looking for tips...
April 1, 2009 7:36 PM
When I would be out with my stepdaughters I told them they could not use their phone while we were out doing anything. I find them very annoying(even for adults who bring them everywhere). I definitly agree that they should have limits...and should not be allowed in school unless they are needed to call for a ride/or for emergencies.
April 1, 2009 8:25 PM
Felicia, great ideas for working with your kids when the cell bill comes and using it to help teach lessons of responsibility and accountability. Secondarily, like most people I've found that looking over the bill is essential to ensuring that you're not overcharged--sometimes cell providers need lessons in responsibility and accountability also! I've found some other tools consumers can use too; for example, one great new cell bill savings blog called http://fixmycellbill.blogspot.com/ constantly tracks new ways to cut wireless costs and exposes shady billing practices utilized by the cell phone companies. There's also an online company called Validas at http://www.myvalidas.com that cuts the average consumer's cell bill by 22% annually. Becoming a savvy consumer is becoming increasingly important as the recession cuts into all of our pockets.
April 1, 2009 9:15 PM
My tween daughter has been begging me for a cell phone for two years and I just don't know if she is ready for one. I am afraid she will be texting all of the time and her grades will suffer.
April 2, 2009 7:36 AM
I believe that this form of control over cell phone usage will allow kids and teens the ability to exercise self control and, in the event they can't, provide a safety net for the parents and their wallet
April 2, 2009 10:10 AM
I am often astonished at the age of kids that have cell phones. My mom keeps sending me newspaper clippings about the concerns of prolonged cell phone exposure in young people under 20. Kind of scary! Not sure when my kids are going to get their own phones!
April 2, 2009 10:13 AM
I like the idea of the Kajeet phone. It's nice to be able to teach the kids some responsibility if they have a cell phone. I know I'm definitely not looking forward to when my kids are teenagers and start asking for phones!
April 6, 2009 12:34 AM
I think this is a great post. I think you have to find a happy medium. you want to know your kids are safe but you also need to draw a line and make sure it's not distracting from learning or getting them into trouble.
April 6, 2009 11:09 PM
These are great tips. I especially love letting the teens go over the phone bill paying process as it does keep them in the loop in understanding the family's finances.
April 7, 2009 6:49 AM
I have a tween and a teen in my house and I'm a true believer in appropriate age for electronics. This includes cell phones. I can not think of any reason a 10 year old would need a cell phone. Which is the age my tween started begging for a cell who is now 12 and still does not own one and won't until he is in high school.When I asked my 10 year old why he thought he needed a cell his answer was "because it makes you cool" lol Enough said. Just because a child ask for something that doesn't mean they need or should have it.I don't look at a cell as being a toy but as a needed communication device.I made my oldest child wait until I thought it was a necessity and he was responsible enough to have one which was age 15 and a freshman in high school and he was in many school functions that required lots of different pick up times so the cell became necessary. I made him wait 2yrs from the time he first asked for one at age 13. I set down rules one being no texting because in all reality there is no need for it. This seems to be the problem with teens getting in trouble at school because they don't need to talk and they try to sneak texting while they are suppose to be learning. since he had to wait a long time to get one he seems to respect the right to have one and I have never had an issue. These are all great tips in this post. And we practice them all already and it works great.
April 7, 2009 10:41 AM
I love the idea of a GPS locator! There are so many uses for that.
I didn't realize that many of these options were available. My daughter is three now, who knows what the technology will be by the time she's ready for a cell phone. NOT next year, even though she'll probably want one.
thanks for a great post.
April 7, 2009 10:49 AM
Very common sense tips everyone! My kids are grown and I have 4 teenage grandchildren that text. In fact they got me hooked! Now my friends don't text but its big fun to get texts from the grandkids everyday! I'm in better touch with them and know more about what they are doing than I ever was! I'm really enjoying the connection. They are all on a family plan with unlimited texting, and one already lost her phone for poor grades. We are all hoping shes back in the loop soon!
I am now known as kul gram-gram n luv get'n their "wassup" texts!
April 7, 2009 5:53 PM
I'm so against the way most teens use cell phones! I've worked with teens in church youth group for years, and think they have a real potential to damage a person's ability to have real conversations and friendships, plus is intellectually DE-stimulating in their grammar! :)
April 7, 2009 9:56 PM
You can always do what I do make your teen buy their own pay as you go phone and the minutes to go with them they bought these out of allowance and it makes them financially responsible
April 8, 2009 9:48 AM
I completely agree! My 8 year old already wants a cell phone and we said maybe when he turns 10. Right now there just isn't a need!
April 8, 2009 12:49 PM
One thing about texting that I heard from a high school English teacher is that text-style writing is showing up in kids' essays and homework. They aren't learning or bothering to spell out entire words in their schoolwork. My kids aren't teens yet, but I plan to limit their texting abilities when they reach that age.
April 8, 2009 6:41 PM
I am thankful I don't have to worry about this with my kids yet. They are only one year old. Who knows what will be available when they are teenagers. I remeber my parents having a hard time with me wanting a beeper... you remeber those???
April 8, 2009 11:20 PM
I don't have to worry about this yet, but when they are teens, I'm sure they will have to pay the bill for whatever technology they are toting around.
April 9, 2009 5:37 AM
Working at a school I agree that cell phones are a problem with teens. I urge parents to make having a phone a privilege, not a necessity.
meredycat*lycos*com
April 9, 2009 10:41 AM
I like the tips you're offering here. Teens need independence, but at the same time, parents do need to make sure they stay involved and are aware of what their kids are up to - even cell phone usage. Even better, in my book, is if the parent buys a cheap pay as you go cell phone for their teen and leaves it up to the teen to take care of paying the "bill" (buying minutes). That's a very fast way to teach the value of money!
April 9, 2009 11:18 PM
You have really great tips!
sam94son05@sbcglobal.net
April 10, 2009 9:52 AM
I am in my 50's and have truly never had the need to send a text message. I know that seems bizarre to some, especially my teenage grandson. Because we could get him a better deal on my plan than his parents we "hooked" him up so to speak. I overlooked the first couple of $50-75 charges, but then there was a $100. I still didn't say anything and just paid it, figured it was a fad because he had new toy. But whenthe $400 bill came we had a sit down and from now on he pays his own overages. He said he was lucky enough to have a phone with privileges that he didn't have to pay for that he would make up the difference and he has so far. Knock on wood. I think he learned a lesson, but I shouldn't have let it slide either. He also knows that if he wants to upgrade his phone he has to save for it. I've tried to turn this into a diplomacy lesson explaining the difference between what is a right and what is a privilege. He was shocked to find out that driving is a privilege also and not a right. Oh to be so young again.
Thanks,
whammo21g@gmail.com
April 10, 2009 11:34 AM
My 18 year old college aged daughter goes wild on the cell phone. I check the minutes all the time. Just last week we were at the LIMIT! I told her to shut the phone off and if she made one more call I would turn her phone OFF!!!!
She listened. We have never gone over!
Leslie
LeslieVeg@msn.com
http://leslielovesveggies.blogspot.com/
April 10, 2009 9:05 PM
I confess I don't even know how to send a text message. I know I'm giving my age away, but when I was in high school a mobile phone was when you pulled up to a pay phone and hung out the window to talk on it.
April 11, 2009 1:52 AM
Three teenagers in my family have gotten in trouble over their cell phones at one time or another. Fortunately being banned for a few weeks worked. Now if they go over the phone just gets shut off because they have to pay for it.
April 12, 2009 9:23 AM
When I was 16 I was over the moon at just getting my own landline in my bedroom. I can't fathom the freedom kids have today. An invention most of us didn't have 15 years ago we can't leave the house without now. The mindset for kids is so different these days. I haven't had to deal with this personally, but my niece has a teenage son. The first time the ph bill hit $400 she hit the roof. Some privileges were taken away. They have it straightened out now though, he is responsible for his own bill. Of course now his 6 year old sister wants one....
April 12, 2009 3:07 PM
Taking the phone away when a child does not follow the cell phone rules is VITAL. I remember that my most effective groundings were from the phone and the car!
April 13, 2009 4:37 PM
Good tips. Teens can sometimes go way overboard with texting when not monitored. Also, texting while driving is a problem and downright scary and dangerous for teens (or anyone) to be doing.
April 14, 2009 3:05 PM
Cell phone usage is way out of hand, but I don't feel it's just that way with teens... the level of courtesy has kind of flown out the window I think [with people answering their phone mid-conversation, etc].
Back to the teens though- there was a principle in a highschool around here that actually purchased a signal blocker and effectively ended cell phone use; it was wonderful until he was directed to remove it [it's illegal]. Kids were paying attention in class for once!
Perhaps this is something [the blocker] that should be re-considered for certified areas [schools for examples]?
When my daughter is old enough for a cell phone, i'd love for her to have one like the Kajeet- the GPS sold me by itself... the other details are just bonus!
April 15, 2009 1:05 AM
CELL PHONES ARE NOT GOING TO GO AWAY. I SEE THE WORST PROBLEMS IN THE SCHOOLS. ESPECIALLY SCHOOLS WHERE DISCIPLINE IS SCARCE. MODERATION HAS TO BE THE KEY.
April 15, 2009 3:22 PM
I can't tell you how many times my teenaged grandson's cell ph has been taken away. Any time he's in trouble its over his phone or a girl. He straighten out though after he had to start paying his bill.
April 15, 2009 6:21 PM
Fortuntaley my kids aren't using cell phones yet although they play w/ our old ones every day! I'm sure there will be some new crazy techno trend we'll be battling when they reach their teenage years!
April 15, 2009 8:06 PM
My FAV feature of the Kajeet is that you can block calls. I wish my regular monthly plan had this feature. Great review and tips!
http://my-bloggy-mind.blogspot.com/
April 16, 2009 11:06 AM
Oh, man. We have a long way to go until this point~but the things we have to look forward to! I have 5 yonger siblings & this is a struggle with 1 of them. Setting rules & guidelines are clearly important!
April 16, 2009 1:13 PM
You have some very good tips. I haven't had to deal with this yet though. I just don't get it, I'm in my late 20's and I didn't have this obsession with cell phones and texting when I was in college. In highschool I was always with my friends or at home so I guess I just don't have the mindset. I guess with all the gadgets, bells and whistles cell phone have today are more fascinating.
April 16, 2009 1:39 PM
I don't send a lot of personal text messages. I text more for work than anything. I don't see how its possible for teens to rack up so much phone time. Sometimes I wonder if its just avoiding the sometimes shy awkward communication between teens. I also worry about the long term affect on eyesight. Maybe thats just me, but I wonder.
April 16, 2009 8:52 PM
Thanks for the tips...our son is years away from cell-phone age, but we know it's an inevitability in this culture, so we want to be prepared!
April 16, 2009 9:23 PM
I have had these battles with a teen, too; eventually, I found that ATT has a way to block calls, limit the time of day that the phone can be used, and control texting; it costs $5 a month. However, from the beginning, I bought the unlimited text plan because with our family plan, the additional phone cost was $10 a month, which I thought was very reasonable.
April 18, 2009 2:35 AM
Thankfully I don't have a teen with a cell phone yet. But I hear of younger and younger children getting cell phones. I find it very silly for a elementary aged kid to have a cell phone. And the teens that do have cell phones I would make my chidlren pay for a part of their bill and have access to their text messages and phone at all times. Children are getting caught up in sending "dirty" pictures to eachother which is illegal. Wow I feel like I can go off on this subject forever. What are parents thinking. They need to have control of their childs phone. Especially if the parents are the ones footing the bill for them to be sending perverted messages to eachother.
April 18, 2009 10:57 PM
No way are my kids getting a cell phone now. It seems like the newest way for kids to get into trouble. I will check out that site, though. That may be an aoption
April 20, 2009 2:48 AM
I like the tips. Just like anything else, they need to have boundaries. We don't have texting, because I don't want to pay the extra money for it, so I don't have to worry about that issue. I think it is important for the parents to set a good example, also.
April 21, 2009 6:02 AM
My kid's only a few months old -- I'm glad we don't have to deal with this issue yet, but who knows what will be the technology when she's in high school!
April 21, 2009 12:24 PM
I say this from experience. I have seven very 'good' kids; I know. I understand; your intention is to 'protect' your child. Then heed my advice:
Take cell phones away, period!!!
Adults get into trouble with them, and their brains are fully mature. Kids under age 25 don't have adult brains yet; they are reckless, invincible, and they can't really help it.
The dangers are very real, and can be life-ruining!
If you think your 'good child' is not abusing the cell-phone 'rules'--you are probably wrong.
The cons WAY outweigh the pros. Do your research and then...Please...Just say NO!!
June 7, 2009 5:37 PM
@ Anonymous: Every elder generation spews the same garbage you just did when a new technology comes out. Step into the 21st century!
Wow! I didn't know Kajeet had an LG Rumor! If it weren't meant for kids, I'd sign myself up for Kajeet just to get my hands on one of those beauties with no contract!
June 7, 2009 7:08 PM
OmegaWolf747
Not sure what to make of that comment... not sure if that was you saying to step into the 21st century or not.
At any rate, teens need rules! 21st century or not!